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The Arizona Cardinals were blown out 45-14 by the New Orleans Saints in their playoff game on Saturday, and were hurt by the loss of quarterback Kurt Warner. After several minutes of careful consideration on his way to the visitors locker room, Warner decided to call it a career and retired on the spot.

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The New York Mets are outraged with their centerfielder Carlos Beltran and his decision to perform surgery on his own knee. The team had hoped Beltran would have sought the services of an actual sports medicine physician.

Newly hired USC head coach, Lane Kiffin, has a spacious 102,000 seat office that is strangely similar to Tennessee's Neyland Stadium, which just happened to be reported stolen shortly after Kiffin's departure. Kiffin denies taking the stadium with him, claiming that he only took personal items from his UT office.

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Despite a history of bad luck and poor decision making, a rumor that something good has happened to the Los Angeles Clippers is spreading. If the rumor turns out to be true, it would be the first positive for the franchise in recent memory.

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Lennox Tucker, a utility player for the San Diego Padres with marginal talent, is very upset upon learning that the steroids he just purchased will in no way improve his performance. He recently discovered that steroids merely increase one's ability to stay healthy or accelerate recovery from injury, while doing virtually nothing to enhance hand eye coordination, power, strength or athleticism.

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At last, former Cardinals slugger and current Cardinals hitting coach Mark McGwire has divulged the details of his past. He finally admitted to playing baseball in the major leagues for fifteen seasons.

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Dungy: Rooney Rule Not Working As Intended (Pro Football Talk)
Admit it Goodell: Rooney Rule is a Sham (FanHouse)

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Florida quarterback Tim Tebow says that if he were playing for the national championship and his right shoulder were injured, there is no question that he would return to the game. The former Heisman Trophy winner cites his toughness, committment to his teammates, as well as a strong desire to win as reasons for wanting to continue playing.

Due to the success of ESPN's ESPN Dallas, the city has been forced to establish its own local sports media. Initial plans in Dallas include the start-up of a large sports department for the Dallas Morning News, as well as sports segments on the local news.