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Lennox Tucker, a utility player for the San Diego Padres with marginal talent, is very upset upon learning that the steroids he just purchased will in no way improve his performance. He recently discovered that steroids merely increase one's ability to stay healthy or accelerate recovery from injury, while doing virtually nothing to enhance hand eye coordination, power, strength or athleticism.

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At last, former Cardinals slugger and current Cardinals hitting coach Mark McGwire has divulged the details of his past. He finally admitted to playing baseball in the major leagues for fifteen seasons.

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Dungy: Rooney Rule Not Working As Intended (Pro Football Talk)
Admit it Goodell: Rooney Rule is a Sham (FanHouse)

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Florida quarterback Tim Tebow says that if he were playing for the national championship and his right shoulder were injured, there is no question that he would return to the game. The former Heisman Trophy winner cites his toughness, committment to his teammates, as well as a strong desire to win as reasons for wanting to continue playing.

Due to the success of ESPN's ESPN Dallas, the city has been forced to establish its own local sports media. Initial plans in Dallas include the start-up of a large sports department for the Dallas Morning News, as well as sports segments on the local news.  

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An immature group of individuals apparently doesn't think too highly of former major league pitcher, current Twins television analyst Bert Blyleven. Blyleven awoke this morning, only to find that someone had left a massive turd on his front porch.

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The Buffalo Bills fired their entire coaching staff on what is now known as "Black Monday", the first day after the end of the regular season. Unfortunately, the Bills newly promoted GM Bill Nix inadvertently terminated his own contract due to the chaotic environment.

At the request of several teams, the NFL Competition Committee is set to look into a possible link between winning the most games and qualifying for the playoffs. The committee is already investigating whether or not it is fair for teams to rest their starters late in the season, potentially effecting the outcome of games.

The NFL inexplicably chose to discriminate against the New York Giants to end the season, forcing them to play out their entire schedule. By forcing the team to play out the standard sixteen games, several players had to unfortunately put their vacation plans on hold or cancel them altogether, and they aren't too happy about it.

Despite facing a possible NBA suspension or even jail time for allegedly bringing three guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, Gilbert Arenas has asked the team to provide him with a larger locker in order to store his medieval weapon collection.