In response to the blown call costing Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga his perfect game, baseball purists all across the country say everyone is overracting with their pleas to expand instant replay in Major League Baseball. Purists say human error adds a fascinating element to the game or something, you know?

JP Smitty's, a popular bar and grill in Tulsa, Oklahoma, failed to change the channel on one of its thirty-seven TVs Monday after it aired a re-run of Two and a Half Men. The Stanley Cup Finals followed, and the NHL was fortunate enough to score the highest ratings ever for a Game 2 as a result of the bar staff inadvertently leaving a TV tuned to NBC.

Stating he only wants to drop a couple pounds for beach season, unemployed quarterback JaMarcus Russell has filed a grievance against his personal trainer, accusing him of being 'way too energetic and active, especially early in the morning.'

Wishing Boston sports fans would forget about their 3-0 collapse in the NHL's Eastern Conference Finals, members of the Boston Bruins secretly hope the Celtics become the NBA's first team to drop four straight games after taking a 3-0 series lead.

The oft-troubled and controversial Milton Bradley has opened up about recent difficulties, and says counseling sessions have allowed him to free the inner demons that have plagued him for so long. Consequently, Seattle has become overrun with various evil spirits, devils and mischievious fiends that are wreaking havoc on the city.

Clearly disappointed by not getting the #1 overall pick during this year's NBA Draft Lottery, the New Jersey Nets announced they have traded the third overall pick for a crossover SUV by Honda. Nets billionaire owner Mikhail Prokhhorov says the #3 pick is a total lemon, forcing the team to get anything of value and acquire the reliable, yet versatile CR-V.

In an effort to entice an NBA franchise to move to their city, government officials in Fargo, North Dakota are hoping to sign free agent LeBron James this summer. Officials say the economic impact of signing Lebron and landing an NBA team would be nothing short of tremendous for the entire region.

Reserve center Zydrunas Ilgauskas may have played his last game in Cleveland as a member of the Cavaliers. Following a Game 5 beatdown at the hands of the Celtics, Ilgauskas may be one step closer to leaving the city as a free agent, a scenario fans have been dreading all season.

Minnesota Twins pitcher Nick Blackburn is catching some heat for his sub-par performance against Baltimore in his most recent start. Blackburn surrendered four hits, two walks, and was only able to pitch seven innings, forcing the Twins bullpen to finish out the game.

Brewers rookie Delvin McNapp has politely listened to countless old save stories from struggling reliever Trevor Hoffman as he looks back on his career. McNapp says he's been cornered in the clubhouse by Hoffman on almost a daily basis, and is growing tired of the 'old man's' fibs.