MLB Articles
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Written by Andy
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Sunday, 09 August 2009 17:34 |
Several reports have surfaced regarding the Boston Red Sox interest in Washington Nationals shortstop, Cristian Guzman.
*Red Sox Place Waivers Claim on Cristian Guzman (Sox and Dawgs)
*Red Sox Claim Guzman (Fire Brand of the American League)
*Guzman Claimed Off Waivers by Boston (The Nats Blog)
But that is not the only individual the Red Sox are interested in. An anonymous Boston official has told us that they are also interested in the hot blonde sitting in the 4th row.
"I mean, WOW!" said the official. "Any red blooded American male would have to be interested, wouldn't he? I just hope she isn't married or has a boyfriend."
Off the record, he would admit that the interest in the blonde may have been brought about by the rejection from the brunette in row 2. Or because Jed Lowrie was on the DL. One of the two.
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Written by Andy
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Sunday, 09 August 2009 11:38 |
More shocking baseball news from the Yankees. It was revealed today by an anonymous source from the New York Post that New York Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia has tested positive for cheesecake.
"Technically, it's not banned by Major League Baseball, and I guess it's just a dessert and not drugs," says the source. "But we like to create juicy news from literally nothing. C.C.'s a big dude, and he didn't get that way by eating carrot sticks or leafy green vegetables."
The same source also confirmed that other pitchers including David Wells, Bartolo Colon, and Bobby Jenks have tested positive for performance enhancing desserts.
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 06 August 2009 16:02 |
Pitching depth has been a concern for the Yankees as of late. Joba Chamberlain is being subjected to an innings limit, and Sergio Mitre has struggled. The Yankees just signed Russ Ortiz, but there is a reason he was not currently on a major league roster. So today, the Yankees permanently solved their problem, promoting one of their JUGS machines to be the 5th starter.
"I don't know why we didn't think of this sooner," said a source within the Yankees front office. "A machine is more durable, and can go deeper into the games. This will save a lot of wear and tear on our bullpen. Naming a JUGS machine as the team's 5th starter is a bit unconventional, but was a better option than converting Derek Jeter to spot starter."
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Written by Andy
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Wednesday, 05 August 2009 17:37 |
Following the beanball in the 9th inning last night thrown by Guillermo Mota, Prince Fielder allegedly attempted to get into the clubhouse. He would most likely have attacked Mota, but thankfully, he attacked the post-game spread instead. And Fielder is a vegetarian, so it probably consisted of donuts, pies, and vegetables...covered in ranch dressing.
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Written by Andy
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Saturday, 01 August 2009 14:16 |
At the MLB trade deadline, the Detroit Tigers aquired pitcher Jarrod Washburn, hoping to fill a hole in their rotation, pushing them toward a division championship. Unfortunately, they lost to the Indians 6 - 5 in extra innings, make the trade a complete bust.
"We messed up on that one," said Tiger manager Jim Leyland, in between packs of cigarettes. "What the hell!?! I thought trades were supposed to make us better, not worse. Oh well, I guess. Best of luck to the Twins and White Sox as they battle it out."
Washburn was upset that he had been blamed for the sudden collapse of the Tigers, as he was not even in the line-up vs. Cleveland.
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Written by Andy
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Friday, 31 July 2009 21:29 |
You can always count on Tim McCarver to add some insight. Here is a little more (fake) analysis from Tim on MLB's trade deadline stories.
*Roy Halladay not being traded: "Halladay wasn't traded, so he can still pitch for the Blue Jays."
*Jarrod Washburn to the Tigers: "Washburn is a left-handed pitcher, and he will still be left-handed when he gets to Detroit."
*Nick Johnson to the Marlins: "It's hot in Florida, and the Marlins play in Florida. Nick will have to get used to playing for the Marlins when it is hot in Florida."
*Jerry Hairston, Jr. to the Yankees: "Jerry Hairston, Jr. has the same name as his father."
*Victor Martinez to the Red Sox: "Martinez is no longer a Cleveland Indian. He plays for the Red Sox now.
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Written by Andy
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Friday, 31 July 2009 18:38 |
We'll stop piling on after this. Maybe...... Saw it on Alana G and liked it so much, thought we'd post it ourselves. Enjoy!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp7XmpiObUQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6&border=1] |
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 30 July 2009 22:09 |
So Big Papi and Manny Ramirez testing positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. (I know, I know. I was shocked too.) Since stuff that happened 6 years ago should DOMINATE the news, here you go:
*David Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Blood-Soaked Sock On 2003 Steroid List (Deadspin)
*Ortiz, Sponsors On ‘03 Positive Test: “Hmmrphm” (SPORTS by BROOKS)
*Big Papi On PED Users – A Look Back (Was Watching)
*Breaking News: A Man Nicknamed "Big Papi" Does Drugs (You Are Hated)
*David Ortiz Injected His Ass With Something Other Than Chili Cheese Dogs (Busted Coverage)
*L O Frickin' L (High and Tight)
*David Ortiz Steroid Endorsement Deal (Sports Tsar) |
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 30 July 2009 13:44 |
That sound you hear is Yankee fans laughing across America. That other sound you hear is the Sports Guy continually banging his head into a wall.
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 30 July 2009 09:24 |
Following their trade of Cliff Lee, one of the games best pitchers, the Cleveland Indians front office has admitted to fans that they stopped caring after the trade of C.C. Sabathia last year.
"Anyone can see that we aren't very good," said GM Mark Shapiro. "So we took the Pittsburgh Pirates approach and traded one of our best players. Again. We'll probably trade Victor Martinez too. We are looking to the future. WAY into the future. I just hope that we have some fans left in 2012 when we are competitive again."
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