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The Nebraska Cornhuskers won a low scoring affair over the Oklahoma Sooners last night, by a score of 10-3. The low scoring, defensive battle prompted a group of scientists to look more closely at games that had been previously labeled as defensive struggles. The group of scientists has released their findings, and they have concluded that defensive struggles are just crappy offense.

"We were shocked by what we found," said head research scientist Jason T. Phillips. "Nearly every game we examined that had previously been labeled as a defensive struggle was just crappy offense. Awful. Atrocious. Whatever descriptive word you'd care to apply. Including last night's game".

In the game, Oklahoma committed 5 turnovers and missed 3 field goals. Nebraska had only 180 total yards, was 1-for-14 on third down and committed 104 yards worth of penalties, yet somehow managed to get the victory.

"Those stats don't even include the number of times each team had guys falling down while attempting to break their offensive huddle or had skill players lined up facing in the wrong direction or on the wrong side of the line of scrimmage. It was pretty ugly."

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