UConn Pads Tourney Resume With Obvious Lie About Beating '92 Dream Team
Written by Andy   
Tuesday, 23 February 2010 19:58
February 15, 2010: Connecticut Huskies head coach Jim Calhoun looking on during the NCAA Basketball game between the Connecticut Huskies and the Villanova Wildcats at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Huskies upset the Wildcats, 84-.75.

UConn men's basketball just submitted their most up to date resume to the NCAA, listing the team's biggest wins and top accomplishments. However the program has allegedly padded their resume in a deceitful attempt to get a tournament bid, claiming they pulled off a 10-point victory over the 1992 Dream Team in early December.

"I don't know how we miss the tournament with a win over the 1992 Dream Team," said Huskies head coach Jim Calhoun. "Nobody ever beat that team until we did. Says we did so right here on our resume, 86-76. It was a remarkable night for our program. Too bad not a single soul was able to witness it. Must've been some bad winter weather or something."

Despite the age and declining health of the 1992 Dream Team, ESPN college basketball analyst Hubert Davis thinks this signature win is enough to warrant a selection of UConn to the field of 65. That is if the game actually occurred.

"It's pretty remarkable that UConn could even stay competitive much less win," said Davis. "Yes, Michael Jordan has put on some weight, Patrick Ewing's knees are bone on bone and Charles Barkley is surviving on Taco Bell, but that team is still the most impressive collection of basketball players ever assembled. I just can't believe I didn't hear about this game before now."

Calhoun says if the victory over the Dream Team somehow fails to remove UConn from the proverbial bubble, his team is prepared to once again re-work its resume, maybe with a more stylish font and an easier to follow layout. This time it would include wins they didn't necessarily want to brag about, including one-sided victories against the 1986 Celtics, 1996 Bulls and the Monstars from the Space Jam movie.

 

UConn making a case for a bid (College Basketball Nation Blog)
UConn - The beast that won't die (The Dagger)


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Comments (4)Add Comment
May I suggest a font?
written by Jay Dubs, February 24, 2010
May I suggest they use the "wind dings" font? I believe it will add the pizazz the selection committe is looking for.
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written by RFS, February 24, 2010
Wing Dings would definitely be an eye catcher.
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written by mookie @ A Stern Warning, March 01, 2010
Another hilarious piece!!

I also believe that there was a win over a team of ballers led by Mr Cooper (from Hangin' With Mr Cooper) and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, circa 1994.
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written by RFS, March 01, 2010
Thanks!

I think I also forgot that team from Hang Time (or whatever that Saturday morning show was) and the Bayside Tigers - before Zack injured his knee of course.

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