NFL Articles
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Written by Andy
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Wednesday, 26 August 2009 11:00 |
The Dallas Cowboys new $1.2 billion dollar stadium is Jerry Jones pride and joy. However he's drawn some heat for it, from the low hanging monstrous video board to being accused of ripping fans off. We've taken a closer look at just how expensive it is to be a fan in this stadium.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, when you order a hot dog, it costs an additional $10 to have the bun included.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, to have ice in your soda you will be charged $3....and a kidney.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, they charge you $5 for every time you cheer the Cowboys and $10 for every time you boo.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, they charge you to park, which is commonplace. However, they also charge you $50 if you want to leave.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, the giant video board can only be viewed with special Pay-Per-View goggles at the low price of $100 per game.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, it costs $20 just to glance at the famed Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.
The Dallas Cowboys Stadium is so expensive. HOW EXPENSIVE IS IT?:
It is so expensive, that for the right price, you can come out of the stands and play the position of your choice or even coach the team.
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Written by Andy
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Tuesday, 25 August 2009 14:59 |
Despite a much publicized case, Plaxico Burress has not spoken publicly about shooting himself in the leg. He finally talked about the shooting in an interview with ESPN's Jeremy Schaap. Plax wants America to know that he has learned his lesson about injuring himself, and he vows to not shank himself in the leg when he serves his prison term.
"I made a mistake," said Burress. "I put a lot of people in danger, and I could have been seriously injured when I shot myself in the leg. Good thing I can't have a gun in prison. But since shanks are now the weapon of choice, I vow that I will not shank myself in the leg or any other extremity while I am incarcerated."
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Written by Andy
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Monday, 24 August 2009 09:51 |
You have a new coach. You've traded your franchise quarterback. Your star wide receiver wants out of town too. Your team has struggled in its first two preseason games. This would be a lot for any NFL owner. For Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, he's had enough. He is demanding a trade out of Denver.
"I've had it!" said Bowlen. "I know it's a little odd for an owner to want a trade, but selling a team takes too long. Maybe the guy in Kansas City, or the guy up in Minnesota will swap teams with me. Heck, I'd even take a couple minor league baseball teams at this point."
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Written by Andy
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Sunday, 23 August 2009 12:23 |
Due to poor tickets sales, the Jacksonville Jaguars have announced that games will be blacked out on local TV for the 2009 season. Sales are so bad, that fans inside Jacksonville Municipal Stadium will also be blacked out.
To ensure the blackout, the team will hang a giant curtain over every seat. This time, fans will be forced to be under them too.
"This is an outrage!" said one fan. "I buy a ticket to watch the Jags, but because no one else does, I still won't be able to watch."
The only consolation for fans is that they won't be blacked out for long, with the team probably moving to LA, San Antonio, Toronto or.....
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Written by Andy
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Saturday, 22 August 2009 12:22 |
The Dallas Cowboys and their owner Jerry Jones are excited to unveil their new giant video board with a football stadium around it. The first football game under the video board took place last night against the Tennessee Titans. The Cowboys won 30-10.
"We are very excited to have this giant video board," said Jerry Jones. "It has so much entertainment value. We decided to put a football stadium around it to generate even more revenue. So what if a punter might hit it once in a while? If they do they're probably punting it wrong anyway."
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Written by Andy
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Friday, 21 August 2009 13:26 |
Following last night's 7-6 win over New England that included an extra point kicked by Chad Ochocinco, Cincinnati kicker Shayne Graham announced that he has changed his name to Shayne Uno Siete and will attempt a move to WR.
"I had to do something," said Graham. "If Chad is going to be our kicker I figure I need to change positions if I am going to stay in Cincinnati. Plus, if Ochocinco moves from WR to kicker, then there would be a roster spot open. It just makes sense."
Head coach Marvin Lewis supports Graham's plan, but indicates that he is not guaranteed a spot at WR. "He may not be good enough at wide receiver," said Lewis, "but the way people get arrested around here we'll be able to use him somewhere."
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 20 August 2009 13:20 |
Plaxico Burress announced today that he has accepted a plea bargain to play for the Detroit Lions. He faced 3 1/2 to 15 years in prison, so he elected to plea bargain.
"Well, it was either face the possibility of spending the next decade in prison or play for the Detroit Lions," stated Burress. "It was an easy decision. Once I serve my time, I look forward to playing for an NFL team once again."
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Written by Andy
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Tuesday, 18 August 2009 14:02 |
WCCO, the CBS affiliate in Minneapolis, is reporting that Brett Favre would sign with the Vikings if he passed his physical. We have learned that he failed the physical by throwing 3 interceptions, otherwise known as Gunslinger's Disease.
"It's disappointing," said Favre. "I really wanted to come back and play now that training camp is over. I guess I'll just have to regroup and try this charade again next year."
Head coach Brad Childress echoed Favre's feelings.
"I really would have liked Brett to be on our football team. It just didn't work out this year. But mark my word, we will pursue Brett Favre to the ends of the earth...or at least to the Mississippi high school where he works out."
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Written by Andy
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Monday, 17 August 2009 21:12 |
It is yet to be determined who will be the starting QB for the Minnesota Vikings. The current battle is between Sage Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson. Apparently, Brett Favre isn't totally out of the picture either.
(Minnesota Sports Zone) -- (Fanhouse) -- (Pacifist Viking)
We've looked into the Real Fake Sports crystal ball for help predicting what may happen at QB for the Vikings this year.
Scenario #1: Sagaris Jacksenfels A is named the starter, but struggles through the first 3 games of the year. Sagaris Jacksenfels B takes over in week 4 through week 9, only to be replaced by Sagaris Jacksenfels A. Sagaris Jacksenfels B takes over again in week 13, following Sagaris Jacksenfels A's injury.
Scenario #2: Sagaris Jacksenfels is finally able to start all 16 games. He leads the Vikings to a sparkling 14-2 record, wins the NFL MVP (his first of 4), and ignites his Hall of Fame career.
Scenario #3: Without a top notch QB, coach Brad Childress elects to snap the ball directly to Adrian Peterson. When told he only has 10 players on the field, Childress will respond, "The quarterback is not much of a blocker. He may as well just stay out of the way."
Scenario #4: Brett Favre returns, is named the starting QB, and the Vikings jump out to a 7-0 record. During a tight battle with the Green Bay Packers on November 1st, the Vikings have the ball, but trail 24-20 with 2:00 left. Favre begins one of his patented two minute drills, but decides mid-play that he doesn't want to play football anymore. He walks off the field to one of his favorite Green Bay hangouts to enjoy one of Wisconsin's finest microbrews. The Vikings go on to lose the game, plus 7 of their last 8 to finish 8-8 and miss the playoffs.
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Written by Andy
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Monday, 17 August 2009 14:25 |
In an effort to become mainstream, the UFL has decided to launch its own television network. Not because it's in the league's business plan, but simply because "everyone else is doing it."
"I don't think we'll have much of a following on a 24/7 network," said a representative of the league. "But the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL all have networks so why can't we? Maybe that's why the USFL, Arena League and XFL didn't make it. It wasn't because they were competing with the NFL, it was the lack of a 24/7 TV network. But what do we know? We've got to do something now that we don't have Michael Vick. What, you think we can market our league around J.P. Losman and Jim Fassel without a TV network? I don't think so."
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