NFL Articles
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Written by Andy
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Monday, 26 October 2009 17:01 |
Chiefs running back Larry Johnson may be in some trouble for what he said on his Twitter account, apparently ripping his head coach Todd Haley. In addition to insulting his coach, he is making outlandish claims, stating that he scored a touchdown during yesterday's game against San Diego.
"I can't believe you missed all those touchdowns I scored yesterday," said Johnson on his Twitter page, completely unaware that everyone saw the 37-7 blowout loss for the Chiefs, in which Johnson was kept out of the end zone and limited to 49 yards. "I was showin' off some mad skills. I probably ran for at least 300 yards. I am still one of the best running backs in the game today. Adrian Peterson got nothin' on me." |
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Written by Andy
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Saturday, 24 October 2009 08:21 |
With this weekend's matchup between the Patriots and the Buccaneers taking place in London, talk about moving a permanent franchise to the English city is again surfacing. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says that ultimately, he would like to put a franchise in London, but he would like to place one in St. Louis first.
"The thought of an NFL franchise in London is very appealing for many reasons," said Goodell. "But I just think that it would be in the best interests of the league if we concentrated on American cities without NFL franchises, like St. Louis. Yes, the Rams currently play there, but c'mon. I'm talking about a bona fide NFL team." |
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Written by Andy
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Wednesday, 21 October 2009 11:44 |
Predictably, the NFL Trade Deadline did not produce much player movement. A few small trades have taken place, including the Eagles acquiring Will Weatherspoon from the Rams for Brandon Gibson and a draft pick. ESPN baseball analyst Buster Olney, among others, described this year's trades, or lack of, as completely boring.
"What's the point of a trade deadline if no one is going to trade for any players for that late season run?" asked Olney. "I mean, trade some low level prospects for an all pro receiver or something. Like Terrell Owens for example. Don't just sit back and do nothing. This NFL stuff is completely boring. I'm just glad that I cover baseball and its 5 hour playoff games with countless pitching changes that end at 2am. Now that's exciting." |
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Written by Andy
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Wednesday, 21 October 2009 11:34 |
Good news Tampa Bay Buccaneer fans! Despite the team's 0-6 start, things may be looking up. Today it was reported that the team has discovered a film room, as well as the storage container holding all of their playbooks.
"This is awesome!" said head coach Raheem Morris. "We have really struggled trying to prepare our team without a film room and without playbooks. Now that we have both, hopefully we can turn things around."
Cadillac Williams, one of the team's running backs, agrees.
"A film room and playbooks?!? This is such good news. I was kind of getting tired watching our interns try to act out our opponents plays as though they were actual game film. Hopefully this puts us on the right track. It was kind of hard to have any success when our two offensive playcalls were 'running-type play' and 'passing thingy'." |
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Written by Andy
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Tuesday, 20 October 2009 08:39 |
The Washington Redskins announced that head coach Jim Zorn has been stripped of his play-calling duties, and will be replaced by Sherm Lewis. The team says the move is just preparatory, and will ultimately lead to Zorn being stripped of his head coaching duties.
"We find it's best to take away a job slowly," said a member of the front office. "There is less conflict that way. Things will just work out on their own. If we slowly strip Jim Zorn of his responsibilities, when he no longer has anything to do he will stop coming in to work. Kind of like what they tried on that movie Office Space."
When told of the move, Redskin players admitted they were completely unaware offensive plays were even being called. |
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Written by Andy
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Friday, 16 October 2009 09:52 |
Wade Phillips received the dreaded "vote of confidence" from his owner Jerry Jones this week. Unbeknownst to Phillips, he received the vote of confidence while Jones was sending a text message to available coach Mike Holmgren.
"Sending Mike Holmgren a text message means absolutely nothing," said Jones. "I've known Mike from the days he coached the Packers. We played a lot of classic games against one another. It has nothing to do with me wanting him to coach the Cowboys."
Endorsing Phillips seems kind of strange, given that Jones is in contact with other coaches.
"I assure you, nothing fishy is going on," said Jones. "Now if you'd excuse me, I need to write on Jon Gruden's Facebook wall." |
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 15 October 2009 12:06 |
Despite being sacked a league high 20 times and taking plenty of other hits, Aaron Rodgers is refusing to criticize his offensive line. At least until he can remove himself from this huge pile of defensive players.
"I won't do it while under this pile," said a wheezing Rodgers, obviously having difficulty getting words out beneath the large pile-up of his latest sack. "I think I'll wait until I get up, if that's even a possibility anymore."
The Packers lineman are glad that Rodgers is currently taking the high road, choosing not to criticize them while beneath a pile of defenders.
"It shows that Aaron is really a class act," said lineman Jason Spitz. "It really shows that he is a stand-up guy. Well, metaphorically speaking that is." |
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Written by Andy
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Wednesday, 14 October 2009 14:00 |
With the NFL trade deadline approaching, many are wondering if the Cleveland Browns are willing to trade Brady Quinn. Despite a full page classified ad in the Cleveland Plain Dealer and countless neighborhood flyers posted around Cleveland Browns Stadium, the team denies that it is shopping Brady Quinn.
"Trade Quinn? No, that's preposterous!" said a source from within organization's front office. "I'm sure there are lots of professional football teams in the Cleveland area that would put an ad in the paper or post flyers around the stadium to try and trade a quarterback. But I assure you, it wasn't us."
Along with the classified ad and the flyers, it appears as though the Browns also had Quinn clean out his locker.
"What, that? No, no no," said the team source. "We are having every player clean out their locker with the whole H1N1 swine flu thing going on. It just happened that the media was present when we cleaned out Quinn's locker and no one else's. That's all. Oh, and pay no attention to the press release announcing Brady Quinn's pending trade. Most likely just an elaborate hoax." |
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Written by Andy
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Sunday, 11 October 2009 21:17 |
In one of the ugliest games in recent memory, the Cleveland Browns defeated the Buffalo Bills 6-3. Despite only 193 yards of total offense and a 2-17 passing performance by QB Derek Anderson, the Browns managed to get the win. Following the game, CBS quickly went into damage control.
"We had no idea that these two teams would play such an ugly game," said a representative of the network. "It was never our intent to pay millions of dollars to televise such an awful game. If we had known that, we could have run some Two and a half Men re-runs or a CSI marathon instead. Again, we apologize to the 6 people that sat through this game." |
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Written by Andy
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Thursday, 08 October 2009 09:22 |
The New York Jets acquired receiver Braylon Edwards from the Cleveland Browns yesterday for WR Chansi Stuckey, LB Jason Trusnik and a couple of draft picks. The Jets are obviously hoping Edwards will improve their passing game, despite his history of dropping passes. The Jets have also said that they will go after a RB that cannot run in order to improve their ground game.
"It's like reverse psychology," said Jets head coach Rex Ryan. "If defenses think our guys can't catch, they'll leave them open. If defenses think our backs can't run, they may relax. We hope to catch our opponents on their heels."
No word yet on where the Jets will find this back that cannot run, but sources close to the situation say the Jets are scouring nursing homes and assisted living facilities in the tri-state area. |
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